A Step Above Ogre

You meet some interesting people at continuing education workshops. Some challenge you, some inspire you, some you like, some you don't. Others, well, they leave you scratching your head and wondering whether or not you're on a hidden camera.

I met Mr. Personality (not his real name) a few weeks ago for the first time at a workshop. He is a professional and, how shall I say it, very pleased with the way he has turned out. In designer clothing from head to toe he asked me how my summer was. My response was brief but positive and friendly. I reciprocated the question and he responded with great detail (in his accent that was a combination of Professor Snape and Prince Charles on a downer) that he had "submitted to my paaahssion for luxury [pronounced luxry] sports cars [cahs] and purchased [puhchased] one with which I explored [exploooored] the island. I also bought a motorcycle and chaps and became part [paaaht] of the riding culture [cultcha]". Well, goody for you.

Mr. Personality and I met again at a second workshop this past weekend where during a break he sat next to me and struck up a conversation. To be clear, his idea of a conversation is hearing himself talk. "I visited my daughter who is pursuing her mahsters degree in urban planning in Sweden. That she was quite busy proved beneficial to me as I met a professional musician with whom I have developed a relationship. Though we are apaht most of the time we have managed to see one anothah in various paaahts of the world on occaaasion. We met for a weekend in Paris and a week in Bahcelooona". He then proceeded to talk about dating as a mature adult and claimed that "as long as one is attractive, dresses well, and can speak well, one should have no trouble. Like you, I suppose: you have a, um, [pause, stammer] nice, uh, face and [pause again] you can talk". Putting my clearly superior verbal abilities to work I said, "I do ok." He replied, and this is the kicker, "well, you're not handicapped or anything."

It was as if he was telling me that even a poor, homely, pitiful, mare like me should hang onto hope that someday somebody might come along who will love me in spite of my being a tiny step above ogre.  Thankfully, my confidence is strong as is my ability to laugh at people like Mr. Personality. Karma's a bitch, dude. One day those designer jeans are gonna fade.